Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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