You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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