I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
