She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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