loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i've created a new STD.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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