We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hippo gnu deer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
