Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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