how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
