We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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