Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
