these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
