What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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