I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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