the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Randomize
