she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
