Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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