TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
