Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Pooping to opera.
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