she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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