so let's talk penis.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
