He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize