420 ftw
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
