if i can run in heels then i can drive
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize