I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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