Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
