so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize