when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
