ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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