So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
