I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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