i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
