I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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