Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
