Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
