I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
