What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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