Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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