Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
