How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
