Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
