Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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