If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
