she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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