I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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