VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
