this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
