Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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