i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need water and some morals
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
