I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
