Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
